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Jessica’s Personal Story

Jessica’s Personal Story: IBS-D – Finding Hope in Seeking Help

I began experiencing horrible IBS-D symptoms about five years ago. They came on so suddenly that within months, not only was I confused and embarrassed, but I developed a severe panic attack disorder. It took years to finally get a diagnoses after pleading with many doctors to take me seriously. Having this awful condition has completely crippled my life. I can not go anywhere where I can’t get to a washroom with five or ten minutes which makes car rides, travelling, visiting friends, even getting to work or maintaining a relationship next to impossible. I’ve tried many antidepressants and anti anxiety treatments with no luck. However I do take lomotil daily and it has made a huge world of difference with most symptoms. I fall into depression quite often knowing I can’t have a normal social life, can’t drive anywhere, can’t do anything really. Even the short train ride to work nearly kills me everyday. My symptoms got worse a couple years ago and I was diagnosed with agoraphobia. After almost a year of hardly leaving the house I realized that hardly eating, and I mean like a banana every second day, would calm my nerves enough to allow me to go out. I peacefully enjoyed a few months of a “normal” life until I got even more sick, caused from starvation. Now not only do I have IBS-D, a horrible panic attack disorder but also an eating disorder that’s caused hemmoriods and ketones. I try to eat often now to battle the eating disorder and ketones but all it does is increase my anxiety. Knowing that I’m only 23 and can only leave the house if I’m wearing a diaper is really hard psychologically. This is an awful disorder, one I have not had the courage to open with others about. Im glad I have this website. It’s given me a lot of strength when I’ve really needed it. Because of the eating disorder diagnoses, I am on a waiting list to start seeing some professional help that I just couldn’t afford before. I am hopeful, even on my worst days. There has to be more to life than living next to a toilet.

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